The Greatest Body Boarding Duo Ever!

If you're hoping for a blog entry about Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze in Point Break, then I'm sorry but it's not going to happen (except to say Point Break might be the single greatest movie about bank robbing surfers who dress like former US Presidents ever made).  I am a humble man by nature, but I think it's safe to say that nobody has ever body-boarded quite like me and Ryan.

My hosts

One of the things I was excited to see on my trip to Hawaii was how the island had changed two of my best friends.  After spending their entire lives in Texas (mainly Waco, Lubbock, and the Fort), island living is a significant change of pace.  Things move slow in Texas, but things move Aloha slow in Hawaii.  The Goughs are used to having conversations about Big 12 college football, baseball games, and all things Texas.  These topics barely move the needle in a tropical paradise.  If I were to ask a native Hawaiian how Michael Young did tonight, I would probably get a blank stare resembling that of an overweight basset hound if asked the same question.  And if their Aloha shirt selection is any indication, Hawaii as a whole can't decide which NFL team to collectively root for (Go Seahawks?).

This being said, I assume my friends have summoned their inner chameleons and embraced some islander forms of entertainment.  While I can't picture Angela on a surf board, Ryan might get into it.  I have even enjoyed referring to him as Runu (think Forgetting Sarah Marshall).  I was devastated to find out that not a single surf lesson had been taken in their months on the island.  I will still call him Runu, but we decided it could only be done after 4 Lava Flows. 

Da-Dum, Da-Dum

Pre-Luau Sunday, the three of us took a little trip down to Waimanalo Beach.  It was a great little beach, just far enough from the airport and Waikiki to keep the main-lander tourist population to a minimum (Except me.....HAHAHA take that locals!).  I'm all smiles for a good morning on the beach to wipe away the stink of Cowboy defeat (another early start time and another double-digit lead blown in the second half).  And right as I'm walking up to the beach, body board in hand, I remember the musings of my good friend Blair upon my departure from Texas.  In response to me expecting something bad to happen after a lot of good recently, he responded "you'll probably get stung by a sting ray or eaten by a shark".  I laughed at the time, but got pretty worried when I saw the sign on the beach saying "Beware of Man O'War".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portugese_man_o_war

Apparently, this beach had a problem with these little guys coming towards shore and shocking people.  Ryan even tells me, at this very beach a local pointed out one of the little guys floating next to him, by casually saying the word "Portagee".  This word means Portuguese sausage and really anything of Portugal decent.  It also means Portuguese Man o'War.  I was told not to worry, because unlike other types of jellyfish, the MoW floats closer to the surface for scientific reasons that I couldn't care less about.  Since it does float closer to the surface, it is easier to see and avoid.  This would make me feel better, if I wasn't legally blind without my specs.  In my case two eyes are not better than four.

So, we tried our hand at body-boarding any way.  My re-introduction to the Pacific didn't go well.  I felt I should be allowed to walk into the waves without impediment, the Pacific disagreed.  After I was shown just how small I really am, the attempts to body board began.

Ummm, we aren't good.  At all.  In fact, some might say we were bad.  Any time riding a wave for 18 inches is the comfortable leader in the clubhouse for longest wave ride of the day, you're not dealing with professionals.  Or even semi-functional adults.  I'm eye-balling every piece of kelp that floats by, thinking it's one of the MoWs ready to ruin my vacation.  Angela said she was impressed by our body boarding efforts, but it may have been just to pick up our spirits after they were crushed by wave after wave after wave.  I was asked upon my return to the mainland why I hadn't tried surfing.  If I'm this bad at body boarding, mere feet from the shore, there is no way I'm paddling out further into the ocean, to attempt to stand on the board I have trouble lying across.  Plus, out there sharks, Men o'War, and other crazy things that I don't know about have an even better advantage.  That's a big hell no to surfing.  You can have it all to yourself Bodie!
 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102685/

So, after a good morning, we had a bit of bad news.... a wedding ring was lost in the ocean.  Not being married, I can only imagine how much this sucks.  But being the man he is Ryan humbly tells his wife the bad news, she gets up to help look, we search the shore without much hope, and eventually we decide it's a lost cause and that the luau awaits to pick up our spirits.  To really know how good people are at heart, watch them when things get really bad.  By this measure, these two are the most mature, positive-minded cohesive unit of a married couple I know.  There was no insincerity or posturing, no backbiting or blame, just lovingly dealing with a bummer of a situation.  Not to gush over these two unbelievably good people, but it made me realize that I terribly miss their positive influence in my life.

Coming soon......I actually make it to Pearl Harbor!