Waikiki and Me: Part 2

Look at that laid-back, unshaven kid enjoying a tasty Lava Flow on his vacation!

After Mu-nu* left my general area, and returned to his station, I began to lounge.  And lounge.  Then, I lounged some more.  And the day just slowly continued to be more and more awesome.  I'm not a guy who needs bright lights, 3-D idiocracy, or the bells and whistles of an overblown entertainment extravaganza.  I enjoyed just watching the ocean exist.  I got to lazily sit and watch the sun shine on a beautiful beach and slowly tumble into the ocean.   

Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams is a great beach read!

I am, however, very guilty of succumbing to one beach cliche.  I have no problem admitting it.  When presented with the opportunity, I totally caved in and took the lying on the beach photo of my feet.  I have no good excuse for this, but it just needed to be done.  I typically hate the idea of over-photographing life as opposed to just living in the moment.  A photo does not prove that you had fun.  And I truly dislike the Corona commercials implying that one beer can make an otherwise dreary day turn into a wonderful beach vacation (do you really have to escape reality if you're on a Rocky Mountain ski trip).  But in this scenario, it's just fun to remember where my size 12 hobbit-feet have been.  And that I caved, and drank a 6-pack of Coors Light.

I decided to do a mid-day flip onto my stomach for tanning purposes.  The last bit of good sun was about to clock out, so it was time for me to flip over if any balance to my "tan" was going to be achieved.  This turned out to be a moot point, since it was a cloudy day.  Plus, I will never have a good tan.  If there is someone out there more entrenched in the farmer's tan (or banker tan I guess is more accurate) than me, I haven't met them.  18-year old Ben would be embarrassed at how white 28-year old Ben has become.  For the flip, I did need some sunscreen assistance.

That's when I approached my Latina neighbors.  I had heard very little English coming from this crew, but was reasonably confident that my broken Spanish and their broken English combined could get my back properly sprayed.  Walking up to a group of 5-6 women is never easy.  Maybe some guys can easily roll up to a group of women with no backup, but not me.  I humbly asked for some help, and genuinely made two of them laugh with my mangled attempt at Spanish.  This was going pretty well.  Until, Alpha Girl stepped in.  Alpha Girl sat in the middle of her crew, seemingly to be the geographic center of attention, if not the actual center of attention.  She had felt it necessary to get overly-dolled-up for the beach, and as far as I could tell had dominated all conversation within her group.  She wasn't particularly cute, and her body language reminded me of one of the bratty rich kids from Mexico City I taught during my days coaching tennis at Newks.  She could smell my folksy, Southern charm from a mile away.  And she did not like it!

Alpha Girl's response to my simple request was "Can't you do it yourself?"  Truthfully, I could have done some arm dislocation and gotten some spray-on sunscreen to moderately protect my back, but we're talking about harmful UV rays (Hawaii technically closer to the sun than Texas, or so Angela told me).  So, I said "I really can't, I'd appreciate the help."  And of course the cutest girl of the group quickly popped up to give me a friendly spray-down.  I did my best to keep a friendly face mid-spray, while staring down at evil Alpha Girl.  After I offered my spray buddy a beer for her efforts, Alpha Girl quickly shook her head that no beer would be accepted by anyone.  But I really wanted to try out my new ruffie collection.  Oh well.

Just, wow!

My great day on the beach was coming to an end.  Mu-nu came and took my beach chair at 5:00pm.  This came after Alpha Girl asked him "where the hot clubs at?"  I laughed out loud when I overheard her say that(of course she digs Mu-nu the Terrible).  My chuckle prompted two of her friends to laugh at her ridiculous attempt at charming Mu-nu.  This also prompted one last evil Latina stare for me.  She didn't realize I am impervious to hot girl scorn.  Apparently, 5:00pm is when the beach is closed and chairs aren't allowed.  I actually called him Mu-nu when he tried to take my chair, which may not have helped my chances at keeping the chair longer.  Hopefully, "mu-nu" isn't an old Hawaiian curse word or something.  And then, amazingly Ryan showed up to join me at the bar.

Scratchin'

We enjoyed some good tunes, a few drinks, some baseball talk (Go Rangers), a few more drinks....it was a good time!  Angela joined us, and ordered an odd drink that I had yet to try.  It was called the Tropical Itch.  While the drink was alright, the unusual twist on this island concoction, was it replaced the normal swizzle stick with a full length back-scratcher (in case your "tropical itch" was in an area that was less than accessible).  Big points for originality!  It also led to my favorite picture of the trip (shown above).  This drink was a surprising medalist in my favorite alcoholic drinks of the trip, with the Lava Flow obviously taking home the gold.  The Lava Flow is a combination of a pina colada with a strawberry daiquiri (sorta).  In typical Hawaiian fashion, they added a wedge of pineapple and a little umbrella, just to remind me that I'm not in Texas any more.  If anybody can successfully make this in Dallas, I will be your friend forever... or not;  which ever scenario you prefer as reward for making this drink for me.

Having had two big dinners the previous two nights, we collectively decided to drink our dinner on this evening.  Or maybe, we just didn't want to move far from the live music.  Or my waitress who hated to see me without beverage even for a minute.  Or the lava flows.  Tomorrow will be my last day in Hawaii, so I'd better make it count.


*I was asked by someone if I hated Mu-nu the Terrible, and obviously the answer is no.  Think of him as Newman from Seinfeld.  A 20 year-old, beach chair carrying, Hawaiian version of Newman.  When he made an appearance during my day on the beach, I reacted much like Seinfeld would have if Newman suddenly appeared......"Hello, Mu-nu".